Today brought the tantalising news headline: "God Denies Talking to Pat" About what? And who is the reporter who thought he might have been and contacted the press office for a comment?
I also received the stark warning: "Earnings: profit falls": a tale of woe in three words. And a truly irresistable invitation, albeit couched in rather over-familiar language: "Hey chum, be Michaelangelo"
And who would not wish to attend the event: "Ragu badgers football" - presumably a sporting event in which our largest mustelids play ball in a field covered in unappetising pasta sauce. Or possibly the Badger Football is sponsored by the sauce-makers?
If I had no other form of entertainment at all, I think I could keep busy for years writing spam-inspired short stories. All the world is there.