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Fast and free

Every time I see the label on an Ebay listing that says 'fast and free' my brain automatically fils in 'the last whose realm was.. fast and free.. between the mountains and the Sea'. no wait that's wrong.

EVERY time.   Sheds an intriguing light on Gilgalad's catering preferences, and indeed on Elven cuisine in general. 

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
ladyofastolat
16th Mar, 2015 14:55 (UTC)
Gil-galad was an ebay king.
Of him the buyers sadly sing:
The last who sent things fast and free,
Between the Mountains and the Sea.

His stocklist long, his prices fair
His service was beyond compare.
His items all came as described,
With labels that were neatly scribed

His couriers were famed in song
And never sent a parcel wrong,
Or said "you're out!" when you were in,
Or left your parcel in the bin.

But long ago he went away,
And where he went to, none can say.
And now his shop, in other hands,
Wreaks woe on buyers of all lands.

Its listings flawed, its prices steep,
Its postage charges make us weep.
Its based, or so it's breathed afar,
In Mordor, where the shadows are.
ladyofastolat
16th Mar, 2015 15:23 (UTC)
What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
It was the mention of catering, you see. My first poem entirely ignored the mention of catering.

Gil-galad founded Burger King
Gil-galad was an elven-king,
Of him all diners sadly sing:
The last whose food came fast and free,
Between the Mountains and the Sea.

His food was sent out on demand,
And carried swiftly o'er the land,
From Mithlond e'en to Rivendell,
And reached there hot, or so they tell.

And diners eating in his hall
Could order dishes from the wall,
And get them fast, in foil encased,
And then add sauces, to their taste.

But long ago, he rode away,
And with him died the fast buffet,
So food is slow, and costs a lot,
And when it comes, it's never hot.
philmophlegm
16th Mar, 2015 15:31 (UTC)
Re: What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
Today's Winner of the Interwebs: You.
philmophlegm
16th Mar, 2015 15:32 (UTC)
Re: What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
Do you do this commercially? Something like that would be great for The Shop on the Borderlands...
bunn
16th Mar, 2015 16:14 (UTC)
Re: What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
Yeah, it *must* be all my fault, because this is the first time you have ever done *anything* like this.

O nay *never* no more. :-DDD

To do for the rest of today: chuckling.

ladyofastolat
16th Mar, 2015 18:12 (UTC)
Re: What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
Gah! And just now, as I reached into the fridge for the various components of our Indian meal, I found myself singing, to the BBC radio version tune, "...in Mordor where the bhajis are," and now it's an earworm and I can't get rid of it!!!! I blame you for THAT, too! :-p
sally_maria
16th Mar, 2015 21:27 (UTC)
Re: What have you done to me? Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
*falls off chair laughing* Ow!

These are utterly brilliant. :-)
sally_maria
16th Mar, 2015 21:29 (UTC)
It's a good thing I don't spend much time on Ebay or you'd have me doing it too - it's so obviously what they mean. :-)

Edited at 2015-03-16 22:05 (UTC)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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