bunn (bunn) wrote,

  • Mood:

School issues

I got an invite to a school reunion.   I'm not going.  

I have many complicated and stressful feelings about the private school I attended, but most of them are not good. Clearly, from the fact that there IS a reunion, and apparently a spontaneous one, not organised by the school,  some of the other people who went there thought it was great, but I am full of the not having enough words to describe how dismal it was.  I have never been so bored, cold, miserable, bored, uncomfortable, humiliated, oh, and did I mention bored?  

You know the episode of Doctor Who where he goes into hiding as a human teacher at a boarding school in 1913?  It was like that.  Marginally less violent, but only marginally.   And this was in the 1980's.  Compulsory rifle practice in uniform.  I am not kidding.   (I can't actually remember now if the bayonet practice that I am thinking happened... really happened.  Surely, it can't have done.  Can it? )  OK, in the event of zombie apocalypse some of my school skills will probably come in very handy, but until then, I have forgotten as much as I feasibly can about my schooldays, and am working hard on forgetting the rest of it. 

What baffles me now is that once I'd worked this out, I didn't simply ask to go somewhere else.  I was there for six years : I could easily have changed, but I didn't.   I think by the time I'd really got my head around the place a degree of learned helplessness had set in, and I just sat there like a rabbit in a box rather than getting my act together. Fortunately, I am not a natural arsonist.  If I were, it would have burned to embers many years ago. 

I ignored the first Facebook message (damn you Facebook!).  Then I got another one.  I have just managed to get my act together enough to say 'sorry, no thanks' politely to the person who contacted me: a person whose existence I had completely forgotten, but  probably didn't deserve the wail of 'GO AWAYYYY!' that was my instinctive reaction... 

Tags: me, things that make you go hmmm, wittering

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