Some years ago, I employed a pair of guard trolls*.  I must admit that I had some reservations at the time. They were rather small and seemed not particularly focussed on their work, but trolls are hard to come by nowadays, so I gave them the job anyway.   There was Dave, the dopy looking one, and Bert, who had small horns and at least seemed to be trying. 

Sadly, their minds were not on the job, and all too soon, this happened:  



SUNBEAM!   Yes, Dave had napped too long and been caught. I'm afraid Bert was never the same after that, and it wasn't long until...



Frankly, they just aren't daunting any more!







*Oh all right, I bought them from Trago Mills** and they are made of concrete.   

** possibly the world's most overtly political department store : eg, this statue in the grounds...