The war moved on to a new stage about six months ago when I tested a new theory: apparently people have an inbuilt predisposition to see faces. This posed a challenge: perhaps if the toilet roll inners had faces, Polo would notice and remove them? There was only one thing to do: give the toilet rolls faces.
Well, the theory worked up to a point. Polo did notice the faces. However, noticing them was not the same as wanting to get rid of them. The rolls multiplied, until a mighty army of toilet roll inners stood filling the windowsill to capacity. I began to feel that they were watching us with the eyes I gave them. Sometimes they moved about and rearranged themselves.
And then yesterday, for no reason I can fathom, he declared that the time had come, and packed the whole bunch of them off to be recycled. Some of them have been here so long I felt quite mean about it. Still, Yay! The Toilet Roll People have gone at last!